Stroke Recovery Update

I have been working hard and it is paying off.  I am now wwalking  without the walker or the cane .  I washed a load of clothes and folded them.  I am using both hands to type this so I may have a few typos, but the more I type the better the left hand will get.  It just shows that determination and believing that you can will go a     long waytoward reaching a goal.   It takes hard work and keep thinking  

I think I can.Ithink I can. I will!!!!”        “Being strong-willed is not enough, however. You also have to be hard on yourself. Someone who was strong-willed but self-indulgent would not be called determined. Determination implies your willfulness is balanced by discipline.”
― Paul Graham        

Armor for Survival

Let me love

       though love

             may go unrequited,

An empty heart

       is much heavier

             than a stone.

Let me have faith,

           though faith

                be often blighted,

Without it

       we are not

             strong enough

                    to walk alone.

Sand, Ocean, Rocks, Boulders and Thunderstorms on the Rocky Road this Past Week and a Half

This past week and a half has been eventful to say the least.  I was having some major problems with my potassium level.  I got that up to low normal, but I was still not feeling my old self.  We decided to go ahead with our plans for the beach regardless.  We made sure we had a nice supply of  fresh tomatoes and avocados with us so I could supplement the potassium tablets.  Monday was a nice trip to Tybee Island.  It was a little windy and a bit of chill in the air, but very nice.  We arrived at our hotel that overlooked the beach, and stopped by the office to check-in.  Our room wasn't ready, so they gave us a room upgrade.  We had a super view of the ocean and the beach.  We went for a short walk along the shoreline once we got unpacked.  The hotel dining room is very nice, and the front of it is a huge arch (much like the St. Louis arch) that is all windows so that you have a fantastic view while you dine.  I had little access to the internet all week, but I did find out that on Friday, April 6th., the interview I had with Lloyd Paige was posted on his site, The Paige Today, at http://lloydpaige.com/?p=823.

Tuesday was a beautiful sunny day.  The sunrise was just gorgeous. Tom and I enjoyed every second of it and I was feeling fairly well.  We checked out the beach, and the shops.  We lounged on our balcony breathing the salt air, watching the people on the beach, and the birds.

On Wednesday, our friends showed up to spend a few days.  The day for the most part was very nice again until that evening when the storm clouds began to roll in from the east.  We had a couple of thunderstorms, and the wind picked up chilling the air.  I was having some breathing problems, but still doing fairly well. The sky was really interesting as the clouds for the second thunderstorm began to roll in over the beach.  There was one area that looked as if there was a large hole, the clouds were white and brightly illuminated.  The rain shower was heavy and short-lived.  The thunder and lightning did not begin until the storm was out over the ocean. The lightning shot out of the clouds like large ragged arrows aimed at the water out close to the horizon.  The waves began to build, and we watch them break farther and farther out on the ocean's surface. 

Thursday was cold and windy.  I tried to go for a walk about mid-day, but I just could breathe enough to do it.  It was as if the wind was taking all my oxygen.  I had to give up and return to the hotel.  The sea gulls and black birds were around everywhere, so we decided to have some fun feeding them.  We soon found out that the poor birds on the small parking area between our balcony and the beach didn't have a chance to get the bread we were throwing out.  The gulls that took to the air and swooped down as we would throw out a piece of bread would catch it in mid-air.  It became a game to see how close they would come to our balcony.  One of the black birds decided to even the odds by hopping on the rail to take his food before it was thrown up in the air. 

Friday morning it was still chilly and cloudy. However, the sunrise was beautiful.  I was feeling worse, and I did not want to go farther that our balcony.  Minimal walking took all my air, so we stayed in room and I sat on the balcony off and on.  Once more the birds were the main source of entertainment.  It was a pretty uneventful day, but nice to enjoy the ocean breeze.

Saturday morning we began to prepare to leave for home.  I was still not feeling up to par.  We made the trip home, and I unpacked.  On Sunday, I sorted the dirty clothes to wash and to get ready for work on Monday.  I was still short-winded.  I took one load of clothing out of the washer and put them in the dryer.  By the time I put the second load in the washer, I was completely breathless and felt as if I would pass out.  I told Tom that he would have to take over because I couldn't finish.  I decided to check my oxygen level.  It was in the upper 90's, and that puzzled me.  I decided to take my blood pressure.  It was about 258 over 158.  That scared me.  I decided I had better tell Tom.  We decided that I had better go to the emergency room to get checked out to see what was going on with me physically.

We arrived at the emergency room at about 2:15 p.m.  I told the lady at the check-in desk.  They took me back and ran an EKG.  They sent me back to the waiting room.  About an hour later, they called my name to go to the check-in desk.  They sent me back to the waiting area.  Finally, about 9 p.m., I was put in a "Decision Making" room.  I was told they were keeping me to run blood work, an echocardiogram and do a stress test.  I had not had a thing to eat since breakfast, and nothing to drink since I had left home.  I was thirsty, and hungry.  They let me have two small packets of graham crackers and some ice water.  The lab person came in and set up an IV cannula, hook me up to a heart monitor, and oxygen.  Then, another person came in to draw about five vials of blood.  I cautioned her that if she took too much, I would charge for it.  I don't think she saw the humor in my quip.  She didn't even crack a smile.

The next morning at seven in the morning, they were back again for more blood.  I was only allowed enough water to take my medicine.  Some of my medicine, they didn't have in the hospital pharmacy, and they didn't want me to take it even though I had it with me. They gave me a shot of radionuclide injected into my bloodstream.  Finally, about nine-thirty that morning they came to take me for the tests.  The first thing they did was to put me on a machine that take multiple pictures of the heart at all angles.  That meant lying on my back perfectly still with my arms above my head for about thirty minutes.

Once that was complete, they put me back on the stretcher and wheeled me to a "holding room" for quite some time.  I didn't see a clock, but it seemed like forever.  Then, a lady came to get me to run the echocardiogram.  After that, it was back to the "holding room" again.  Finally, a nurse came to get me to take the second part of the chemical stress test.  A chemical stress test uses an isotope medication that is inserted into the body via an IV. Its purpose it to take the heart to its highest extremes of stress. This is accomplished by forcing the arteries of the body wide open so that blood is allowed to flow at maximum volume.

I was hooked up to an EKG machine during the test so that my heart was monitored at all times. The temporary side effects of the test were severe.  The chemical opens the arteries in the manner used ensures certain symptoms,  and I was told could include, but are not limited to hot flashes, tingling or burning throughout the body, sweats, severe headache, nausea (and possible vomiting).

I personally thought that nothing could hurt as much as what I had envisioned for the pain of a heart attack itself.  I have never had a heart attack, but I think this had to be worse!  This test has to be as severe if not more so. Although it only takes about six minutes, the agony and pain of the test makes it feel more like six months. I felt as if my heart, lungs and every vein and artery in my body was going to explode.  I know the  purpose of the CST is to determine how the arteries respond; how well the blood flows through the heart; and whether or not any blockages are encountered in the process, and it apparently works well because much later I found out that  the doctor was satisfied with the results.  I, on the other hand, was not since it left me with a raging migraine, but it subsided fairly quickly. 

Again, I was taken to the "holding room" to wait my turn for more pictures of my heart.  I was finally returned to my room sometime after two that afternoon.  There was more waiting until a doctor came to give me the results, and to release me.  I found out about six that evening that I was going home, but it nine that evening before a doctor showed up to begin the hospital release for me to check-out.  The doctor who released me recommended that I make an appointment with a neurologist.

We arrived home about 9:30 p.m.  I stayed home today.  I am absolutely worn out, and I am not breathing any better than I was before I went to the emergency room???????  I did discover this morning that another review of my book had been posted on my Author's Den Page at: http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewnews.asp?AuthorID=140046&id=38634

Who knows what will happen in the near future, but I will keep you posted.  I am still tackling it all with love, faith and guts.

More pictures taken at Tybee Island.

Check back who knows what is next.  Whatever it may be, it is never a boring minute! 

A News Update on the Birth of Traveling a Rocky Road with Love, Faith and Guts

I am happy to announce that Traveling a Rocky Road with Love, Faith and Guts will be available within five to seven days on Amazon. It will also be available soon to bookstores and other online channels very soon. 

For those of you who are new visitors, and to my wonderful followers I want to say thank you for your support.  I decided on this blog entry to take a look back on the journey and bring the journey up-to-date.  I have been given an additional opportunity to advance on my quest to make bladder cancer a common word rather than one that is unheard and/or unknown. 

As I have traveled along life’s highway, I keep running into people who have let the rocks that have been thrown in their life’s road giving up on themselves, or life in general. The truth is that life is harsh, and it is not like the movies that give a false impression that it is smooth sailing. Being the hero who toughs it out and keeps on regardless of the situation is difficult, but with faith, a few guts, and the ability to laugh, it can be accomplished. It often takes a backbone, humor and a wishbone to survive it all.

Because of life’s journey can get very rough at times, I decided to write a book to share my life’s experiences so that it may inspire someone to come back fighting when life knocks them down. The book is a journey though time from childhood to mature adulthood. The stories and poems in this book reflect the lows and highs of life. The loving memories, the hardships and the things we learn as we travel the road of life. It covers an abusive mother who had mental problems because of being abused as a child, childhood polio, a rocky marriage with a husband who was often abusive, the role of caregiving, death and grief, coping with bladder cancer, asthma, losing a home and more. Therefore, to not to scare you off with gloom and doom, there are funny stories along the way and an ending that I never dreamed would happen.  The reaction of the first person other than Dr. Kay who read the book was, “I just read your manuscript of the book. “Wow!”  What higher compliment could an author get on anything she/he had written.

My hope is that the book will bring about understanding to others, and be inspiring to even more. Our journey in life has a purpose, finding it is often the most difficult task of all.

I have been so fortunate to have the guardian angels in my life. They have always been there in my darkest hour, and when I needed one the most. They have walked beside me, helped me to maintain faith and belief in myself as well as in others. I have learned that giving is much more rewarding than receiving.

My life reminds me of Robert Frost’s poem, The Road Not Taken, in the line: “Two roads diverged into a wood, and I took the one less traveled, and that has made all the difference.” I will always remember what my elementary teacher wrote in my scrapbook, “Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.” This book is not about crying, it is about getting knocked down by boulders, and standing back up in spite of them to go forward.  It’s about facing your fears and laughing at

Dr. Aman Kay, who is an internationally published author, has been helping me with this book by reviewing it. He is the one who is responsible for my poetry that has been sprinkled throughout the book. This poetry has all been published either in my book, Pulse Points of a Woman’s World, or in various literary magazines. It is poetry that is written from the heart and soul, and was the only way I could express my feelings. I once had an instructor who asked me to explain poetry. I told him that it was much the same as an artist who paints what he or she sees and feels. The difference is that the poet uses words to paint the minds pictures rather than oil paints, watercolor or some other medium.

When I began a draft for the book, I crossed my fingers and asked Dr. Kay if he would mind reading it to see if I was spinning my wheels, or should I write the book.  He encouraged me to complete it.  Now that it is finished, his review of the book is:

“Taking the rocky road with Sylvia is a joyful challenge.  It takes the reader through the most common and uncommon hardships, but at the conclusion of this delightful journey, the reader feels more joy and satisfaction: Love, faith, and incredible guts turn the rocky road into an assuring path that all of us so humanly desire.  This book is so uniquely universal in every essential aspect that I enthusiastically recommend it to all readers regardless of their age, gender, and race.” ~ Dr. Aman B. Kay

Some wonderful things have happened on this journey.  I have met new friends who have supported me in this venture.  I owe a lot to them.  One of these friends is Julie Weishaar and she has volunteered to help me with marketing.  We discovered that we have a lot in common.  Her mother is a bladder cancer survivor.  The other person is Christy who is a freelance writer, and has a blog on poetry called the Poetic Parfait.  She is a cancer survivor as well.  One of the instructors at the college where I work came to me yesterday, and she wants to have a launch party for my book when it is released.  Healthy Women is going to publish a follow-up article on my book release.  So many other people are re-tweeting my blog and supporting me and my quest in many other ways.  The next thing I found out was that I had been nominated and selected for Today's Honoree.  I can never thank you all enough for your support and help. 

Where the next part of my journey will lead, I do not know, but stay tuned for updates.

The Highs and Lows of the Rocky Road and Hanging on With Love, Faith and Guts

The paperback proof has arrived! This weekend will be spent going over it carefully looking for any errors.  The final look before it goes to press.  There are so many things yet to do and so little time.  The brain is in a foggy whirl and writing at this point is difficult to find the words.  I have planned, but there is so much yet to do.  This book and the others are of more importance to others than to me.  Who knows, it may even save a few if they read the book. 

Right now it is difficult to write for more reasons than the book.  One of my very dear friends is going through what I did with my first husband.  Another young person I know is facing so many hardships right now, and I cannot do anything but stand by and be there if they need me.

In both situations I feel empathy, but useless.  I am a doer and a fixer...I can do none of this...so, I wait until I can.

The Silent Muse

Silence surrounds the muse

    like the murky veil

    on a smoke-stained rose

   that enfolds a city’s dawn

   as the elegant words

   of pomp and circumstance

   are as voiceless

   as the cry of a city’s neon lights.

In agony, he craves respite

    from the tyranny  of a need 

   that makes him a wanton, helpless pawn

   that lures him tauntingly

   like a siren lures a ship

   toward the hidden craggy rocks

   on cold, rainy, foggy, nights.

Thus, taunts this siren

   tricking the mind

   with ghostly strains

   of lilting rhyme

   to entice the muse,

   causing the need to be stirred

   when the mind’s curtain is drawn

    to suffer silent, voiceless nights.

© Sylvia L. Ramsey 2005

Traveling a Rocky Road with Love, Faith and Guts has a Book Trailer, Watch it Here!

There is a story behind this book trailer, and I think it needs to be shared.  It is not about me but about another angel who has appeared in my life.  I talk about angels, I am referring to those people who show up in your life and are there to help you along life's highway.  You can call it fate, or whatever you wish, but I have been fortunate enough to have had many who came out of nowhere to be there for me.  To these people, I will forever be grateful.  Julie Weishaar is one of the people.  I did not want to try to produce my own book trailer for this book. I have no idea why I contacted Julie, but I did.  We discussed the project, and I decided to let her create it. 

Once that decision was made, I felt she should read at least part of the manuscript.  I sent her the document version without the pictures, a few hours later, I received and email from her. This is what it said, " Sylvia – I just read your book! The only word I can think of to say is WOW!"  I was absolutely blown away by her comment, what a compliment to get on something you wrote. 

I will never be able to tell her what a blessing she is to me, and will be to so many others.  I will have to let you read her story on how we met, and why she has created this fantastic video and more.  That is what you will read below:

Julie's story:

"It isn't often in life that we are presented with an opportunity to do something and not only get paid for it, but also be able to get incredible satisfaction and more fulfillment than we ever thought possible. I was fortunate enough to have been given this opportunity just a few days ago. 

A few days ago I received an invitation to connect with a woman named Sylvia Ramsey on LinkedIn who indicated that we worked together at The American Bladder Cancer Society. Now, I know that my memory is not as good as it used to be but I knew I would remember if I had worked there and I didn't :) The email right below that one was the explanation.

 (I really shouldn't read my emails from the top down anymore LOL).

Sylvia wrote a book called "Traveling a Rocky Road with Love, Faith and Guts" and was looking for someone to create the video trailer for it. Aha, so now it made sense. I reached out to her and she hired me. This is rather interesting in that my LinkedIn profile does not indicate that I actually do create videos for inspiration and other more personal messaging. Instead it focuses on business videos, however, that did not stop Sylvia from contacting me.

 We both find this interesting and she said she really doesn't know why but she felt compelled to reach out to me. 

Lesson number one here is use LinkeIn. It is a great professional resource/networking site!

I was able to get a sneak preview of her book and read it in total amazement of how a woman, having gone through tragedy and hardship one after the other, over and over again, could not only be as uplifting and positive as she is, but also has dedicated her life to helping others with bladder cancer. I have met a woman who has truly inspired me and feel honored to have been able to create her book video trailer. 

AND, she liked the video so much, she will be sharing my services with her HUGE network of authors who have already talked about needing a video book trailer. How's that for Karma? :)

Below is her video in - that's right - you guessed it - a video email! I encourage you to keep a look out for when the book is published. I will be announcing it as I have donated my time and resources to helping Sylvia get her book and message out to those who REALLY need the support offered by The American Bladder Cancer Society! 

Now, here is the video book trailer that Julie created for Traveling a Rocky Road with Love, Faith and Guts:

The Rocky Road Levels Out for a Moment in Time

"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky".  ~ Rabindranath Tagore

It is back to work on my blogs, my book and my writing.  My computer has arrived, programs installed, and now all I have to do is to acclimate myself to a new operating system and new word processing program.  The only complaint I have about the new word processing program is that they do not just add new features, but they move the commands for the familiar ones.  It becomes a games of hide and seek,  and a challenge to overcome. 

The final editing is almost complete, and the only thing left to do before it is off to the publisher is to indicate where the pictures are to be placed.  Sometimes it is tempting to go back and add more to the book, but you have to stop somewhere.  My editor said that it will required a revised edition in the future, and I suppose that will be the rest of the story. 

The writing of this book has been difficult at times because it has brought back memories I would rather forget.  But, I decided that if recording my experiences would help someone else to let them know they are not alone, and that with perseverance they can survive, the discomfort of my reflections are worth it.

One of the poems from my book:  Pulse Points of a Woman's World

Reflections of My Mind

I have grown weary

of the reflections of my mind.

As it mirrors images

of life‘s ups and downs.

It holds memories

both harsh and kind,

Rushing into view

by leaps and bounds. 

The mirror of my mind is

marred with clutter and dust,

Demanding to be cleaned

by a cloth with a ruthless hand.

Banishing the blurred images

from view is a must.

So, with arduous determination,

a clean mirror, I demand.

Soon my mental mirror

is bare as a tack,

But then, I analyze it

from my mind‘s door,

And, I know no peace

until it is back,

The reflection cluttered

as before.

"We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams". ~  Jeremy Irons

Overcoming the Rocks in the Road

“Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition - such as lifting weights - we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.” ~ Stephen R. Covey

 My new computer is scheduled to arrive tomorrow.  I can then begin the final polish on my book.  I have an angel who is proofing it.  I must thank Dr. Aman Kay who is an Internationally published author who has encouraged me along the way to completing this work.  He has been a mentor, an encourager, and now has volunteered to serve as an editor to make sure the book is ready to be published.   

He keeps telling me that my story is one that must be read by all.  He says that is tells an honest story of survival , faith and perseverance that will inspire others to hold on to hope and to not give up.  I hope he is right because I have been honest in the telling even though it is simple and a "literary" work of art.   

Cynthia Kinsella who is the President of the American Bladder Cancer Society has contributed a message recalling our first meeting, and the importance of the messages within the book.  I have added this message as the epilogue to the book.   

If  my story can be helpful or inspiring to others, that is all I can ask.  I am a firm believer in what Edward Everett Hale said, "I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do".

My first blog about my book, Traveling a Rocky Road with Love, Faith and Guts

As I have traveled along life’s highway, I keep running into people who have let the rocks that have been thrown in their life’s road giving up on themselves, or life in general.  The truth is that life is harsh, and it is not like the movies that give a false impression that it is smooth sailing.  Being the hero that toughs it out and keeps on regardless of the situation is difficult, but with faith, it can be accomplished. It often takes a backbone, humor and a wishbone to survive it all.

Because of this, I decided to write a book to share my life’s experiences so that it may inspire someone to come back fighting when life knocks them down.  The book is a journey though time from childhood to mature adulthood.  The stories and poems in this book reflect the lows and highs of life.  The loving memories, the hardships and the things we learn as we travel the road of life.  It covers an abusive mother who had mental problems because of being abused as a child, childhood polio, a rocky marriage with a husband who was often abusive, the role of caregiving, death and grief, coping with bladder cancer, asthma, losing a home and more.  Therefore, to not to scare you off with gloom and doom, there are funny stories along the way and an ending that I never dreamed would happen.

My hope is that the book will bring about understanding to others, and be inspiring to even more.  Our journey in life has a purpose, finding it is often the most difficult task of all.