Detective Work Pays Off, but Other Things Crash

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently. ~ Palladas

What a week!  This past week was plagued with vertigo as well as trouble with the breathing.  I decided that it must be the additional medication that I had been prescribed.  I began to eliminate one by one that could cause such a reaction.  Finally, I was down to the last one.  I was still having some vertigo.

However, Friday, I was not feeling well at all.  By the time I arrived home a little afternoon, I was running a fever and having chills.  I was supposed to go to a retirement party that afternoon, but there was no way I could do that.  The next thing that happened was an extreme headache, and frequent trips to the bathroom.  I went to bed.  I was so cold that I turned my electric blanket up to its highest level, but I was still cold.  I slipped in and out of sleep.  It wasn’t really sleep; it was more like consciousness.  The only time I was out of bed was to visit the bathroom.  About nine-thirty the next morning, I more or less woke up, but I still felt awful and still running a high fever.

I was supposed to go to a meeting that morning at eight.  Needless to say, I didn’t make it.  At ten-thirty we had an ABLCS board meeting (online), and I was barely able to stay up long enough for that.  After the meeting, it was back to bed, and that is basically where I stayed until this morning.  I do not remember the last time I spent so much time in bed.  I feel much better today.  No high temperature, and no vertigo.  I know one thing, if it was a virus, I don’t wish it on my worst enemy. 

I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning, and I will go over the medicine thing with her.  We will see what she says about that. 

Today, I have some author interviews to set-up and schedule on my other blog, a book trailer for an author to finish, and work on a special retirement video.  Somewhere in between, I need to do the necessary mundane things like wash clothes and get ready for next week. 

It is going to be a busy week ahead, and I won’t have a lot of time for my own writing, but I will do an update as soon as possible.  At least I have a great weekend coming up at the beach, and I just hope I am feeling well enough to enjoy. I am sure I will.

The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible. ~ Arthur C. Clarke

The Detective’s Power of Persistence

“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

What a busy week this has been.  Two times to the doctor's office, worked three days, had a staff training meeting to get ready for the Summer classes that begin on Monday and working on a book trailer for Dr. Kay.  However, let me first tell you how I was able to do all this. 

  

Being diligent and proactive as well as pursuing the role of a detective, I actually discovered a couple of things that was messing with my body!  I will tell you what happened, and by deduction I learned a couple of things that have made a difference in how I feel.

I was having really bad dizzy, weak, shaky spells.  I decided to stop one of the blood pressure medications.  It helped some, but I was still having problems.  (I did call my doctor to let her know.)  I kept check on my blood pressure, and it was fine; however, my heart rate was very fast.  So, I stopped the second one.  Blood pressure fine, not quite as dizzy and shaky but heart rate was still fast.  I began researching my other medicines, and I found that was a severe symptom of one of the allergy medicines.  So, yesterday, I didn’t take it in the morning.  I had just a tiny bit of vertigo, but it was a great day and my blood pressure was fine as well as my heart rate.

  

I felt so much better that I had a young lady come in to help me try to get the house back to some sort of order.  I actually felt well enough to do some sorting, cleaning a pitching of things myself.  I did things I had not been able to do in more than a couple of months.  It felt so good that by the time the day was finished, I was so tired I hurt.  However, a good hot shower and tucking myself in bed took care of all that.

I almost forgot to tell you that, the Doppler ultrasound imaging, which uses sound waves to check blood flow and measure the thickness of my carotid arteries turned out well. No problems there.  Check - that is good. 

  

This morning all systems are pretty much go.  I am not a 100 %, but I have been up getting more things accomplished.  I washed a load of clothes, gave myself a haircut and fixed my hair.  I have a list of things to try to get done before bedtime.  It always amazes me that if you just hang in there, be proactive just how much of a difference it can make.  If things are rough for you right now, I hope you tie a knot in that rope, hang on and climb out of the hole when opportunity knocks! 

 “It isn't the things that happen to us in our lives that cause us to suffer, it's how we relate to the things that happen to us that causes us to suffer.” ~ Pema Chodron

That is all for today.  I have lots I want to do, so I will update you sometime next week.  Leave a comment if you can and let me know how it is going with you!

The Saga Continues...

AH3DEJRZ4EXG

My life has always been a series of challenges and I'm psychologically-prepared but this is the biggest challenge of my life. ~ Ronaldo quotes

On Monday, I took my last dose of antibiotic.  I wasn't feeling great, but a lot better.  I went to work that morning, and that afternoon to my doctor's appointment.  I told the doctor that I felt I needed additional antibiotics because the infection had not cleared up yet in my stoma.  My doctor is not a pill pusher, so I did not get a refill for the prescription.  Blood work was run before I left to test.  She added another blood pressure pill that would help retain potassium rather that deplete it. 

On Tuesday, I went to work once again. I was not feeling very well.  By noon, I was really having trouble breathing.  On Wednesday morning, I felt awful.  I was still having breathing problems.  That afternoon, I received a call from the doctor's office telling me that the bacterial infection in my body had reared its ugly head again.  The doctor had called in a prescription for the antibiotic with the instructions to take if for ten days. 

This morning about 2:30 a.m., I had a very severe asthma attack.  For a while, my husband I thought he was going to have to call the ambulance to take me to the hospital.  I finally got it under control with oxygen and my inhalers not to mention concentrating on not panicking, and work on purse breathing.  Eventually, I was able to lie down and dozed off for a little sleep. When I woke up at 7:30 this morning, I had another round with the asthma.  It was not quite as bad as the earlier attack, and with the same routine; I was able to get it under control.

Tomorrow, I have an appointment with the urologist.  Tuesday, I have an appoint with a neurologist to see if the breathing could be related to my round with polio I had at the age of four. 

The only thing I am sad about is that Saturday is my husband and my anniversary, and I know that I will have to cancel the dinner date we had planned to celebrate.  However, we celebrate every day we have together, so the dinner date can wait. 

In my own words: "...with love, faith and guts, I will not fear tomorrow, nor tomorrow.  I will live each day as if it were my last, and give as much as I am able.

Watch for an update...and, if you can do something that will help another person, do it!

 

Life is a Like a Roller Coaster Ride!

What a week it has been.  There have been so many ups and downs that my head is spinning.  It began when I got home last Friday.  I wasn't feeling well and I started having chills.  I checked my temperature and I was running a low-grade fever.  This continued all weekend, and by Monday I was ready to go see my doctor.  She sent me to the lab to get some blood tests run to check what was going on.  On Tuesday, her nurse called saying that my  C-Reactive Protein was very high and so was my erythrocyte sedimentation rate which indicate inflammation in my body. 

So on Wednesday, I went to see my doctor again.  She wanted to rule out some things, so I had a chest x-ray, some more blood work, tested for the flu (even though I had had the vaccine), and nothing was discovered.  She recommended that I check into the hospital for a CT scan of both the upper and lower body, and have extensive blood labs run.  I agreed because I was tired of feeling so bad, and I wanted to get back to feeling like myself again. She prepared the admissions paperwork, and sent them to the hospital.  I went by my house on the way to pick-up some toiletries and other things I needed for a hospital stay.  Then we proceeded to the hospital to check-in.

As soon I was in my room and the nurses found out that I had an Indiana Pouch, they all wanted to know about it and to see the stoma opening in my navel.  I ended up explaining how it was created, and educating them about bladder cancer and the different types of pouches. 

 

As soon as I went through the initial checking in with the nurses, the poking and prodding began.  No water, no food until after the CT scan with and without contrast. In the meantime, they took plenty of blood.  I think that first time was about six test tubes, that evening two more, and this morning about four more.  I was hooked up to an IV with potassium.  The next thing was the wires on the chest so they could monitor my heart and blood pressure.  Finally, about six that evening, I went to radiology for the CT scan.  When I returned to my room, I was allowed to eat and drink. 

This morning when the doctor on call came by, he said that everything looked okay in the CT scan.  The blood labs this morning showed that everything seemed to be correcting itself on its own, but he was putting me on an antibiotic to try to make sure that whatever it was cleared completely.  They had no idea what is going on with my body, and where I am picking up a bacteria that is causing my problem.  At least I was able to educate a few more people in the medical field about bladder cancer and cystectomies.  "The fact that I can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another's, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, are to me continual spiritual exercises." ~ Leo Buscaglia

When I arrived home, there was a letter from the Midwest Book Review telling me that my book had been reviewed and could be found in The Reviewer's Bookwatch in the May issue on Burroughs' Bookshelf.  This is what Mr. Burroughs' wrote, "When life throws everything at you at once, you just have to keep trucking. "Traveling a Rocky Road with Love, Faith, and Guts: Bladder Cancer, COPD, Caregiving, Polio, and More" is a memoir from Sylvia L. Ramsey as she shares her journey to facing cancer and many other ailments, and how she found the strength to overcome them all even stronger. "Traveling a Rocky Road with Love, Faith, and Guts" is a fine addition to any health-related memoir collection."  What a nice homecoming from the hospital!



What this roller coaster of life will bring next, we will have to wait and see!  Stay tuned.

Are you Limiting Yourself?

 “Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.”  ~ Jamie Paolinetti  It is an easy trap to fall into that hostage trap, and I am its victim sometimes too until I realize what I am doing.

“Life is as frail as thread and as strong as rope,” is one of the lines in a poem I wrote.  It is my belief that life is about-facing ones fears, considering alternatives and choosing to persevere in spite of the risk. I have been doing that a lot lately because of this recent round with an infection and my breathing.  I realized that I was letting the current situation limit me, and part of it was in my mind.  I just had to remember all the odds that I had overcome, and that I could overcome this as well.

Today, I drove myself to work and home for the first time in weeks.  To be truthful, I wasn't sure I would make it, but the "ole" Missouri mule kicked in and I was determined to try.  Try I did, and I made it!  My husband was so concerned that he followed me to work to make sure that I did.  He was at the bowling alley when I arrived home.  I made it fine.  When he came home, he brought a big bouquet of red roses. 

Tomorrow, I will do it again, and I will try to stay longer at work.  I even went for a short walk yesterday afternoon even though I was really huffing and puffing when I got back.  I plan to go for that again this afternoon.  It will take a lot of persistence, but I am determined to get back where I was before I got this bacterial infection that tried to wipe me out.  No, I take that back...I am going to get better than I was before!

Oh, by the way, there was an interview article published in the May issue of Verge Magazine in Augusta, GA.  I thought Alison Richter wrote a very nice article on my book, me and my quest. If you would like to check it out you can connect to the online publication at http://www.vergelive.com/, pg. 13, or pick up a print copy at various distribution places  around the city. 

Got Air?...Want to share!

My air has been rather short lately. I went back to the doctor on Wednesday and I flunked my respiratory function test again.  I did my research because I felt that were things being overlooked. I felt that the "obvious" diagnosis wasn't the source of the problem.  Because of all my past experiences, I have learned it is good to be pro-active when it comes to your health.

I found a very good, reliable article online, and I was able to take  some valid information to my doctor about various complications that can occur and are common for people who have had a radical cystcectomy that includes an urinary diversion replaced by one of the many types of pouches.  I made some suggestions about some things to check-out with lab work.

Yesterday, I found out that my potassium level is still low, and my B 12 is also low.  No wonder I have been feeling so yucky. 

Low B 12 can cause problems concentrating, swollen and red tongue, shortness of breath during physical exertion, fatigue, dizziness, headache, cold hands and feet, heart palpitations and chest pain.  Now we have identified the problem, we can begin to correct it.  We increased my potassium intake, and I am going to be on B 12 for a while.  Soon, I should be back in the saddle again.

Things have not been all bad.  I made it to work every day this past week. There is a feature article that will be published in the May issue of Verge magazine.  I have a book signing scheduled for May 5th. at the Inner Bean beginning at 4 p.m.  One of my photographs that I took when I was at Tybee is going to be used for the cover of my colleague Dr. Kay's book, Wings of Time, that will be published soon.

I am also going to begin a pulmonary rehabilitation program next week.  That should help me get back on my feet sooner...or I should say my lungs recover from this episode.   

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm ... As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others." ~ Audrey Hepburn

That is where I am right now, and I hope you are too. 

"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky." ~ Rabindranath Tagore

Words for the Week on the Rocky Road

Strength

Courage

Confidence

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt  

This past week had been a rough one health wise, but I think that I am on the upward trail to getting better.  I have a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday for more tests to see if, or how much things have improved with the bacteria infection. 

This experience did teach me something new about being a bladder cancer survivor.  I had never had a urinary tract infection since my radical cystcectomy.  I cannot not say that anymore. I think that bacteria was in more places than the ole Indiana Pouch because of the other symptoms I had. 

I go Wednesday for follow-up tests to see if the antibiotics worked, or if I need more.  I am hoping they did.  I will keep you updated.

"Bacteria keeps us from heaven and puts us there." - Martin H. Fischer

Flunked My Test so Now I am on House Restriction

I went to see my family doctor yesterday, and she ran a lot more tests.  She is doing a blood workup, and she gave me a pulmonary function test.  I flunked it, so now I am restricted to the house on oxygen until at least Monday. Oh well, it could be worse.  At least I am home and I can sit at my computer and write.  I have a portable oxygen concentrator that I can take with me to my office.  She added another type of blood pressure medication, and is making an appointment with a neurologist.  I told my friend that I flunked the test and was put on house arrest.  She cracked up!  At least I made someone laugh yesterday!  To quote Bill Cosby, "Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."
 

This is just another rock to climb, but remember I am from MO and that stubborn mule is my mascot.  This, too, will just make me stronger.  Besides, I have Tom to keep an eye on me and out of trouble...well, most of the time, the trouble part is the biggest challenge!

Next week, I have been invited to be the guest speaker at a first meeting of a brand new cystcectomy support group.  I have given presentations to all sorts of audiences on a variety of topics, but this is a first for me.  Do you think I need to share my story?  I have asked if they wanted me to organize it around a definite theme.  I am waiting to hear back on that.

If you want to keep up with what is happening in my world, just follow along.  Sometimes it is just like a soap opera!

Blossom that fell off the Poplar tree in our backyard.

"Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived." ~ Jean Luc Picard

A flower on my patio.

A squirrel in our backyard.

“You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear. Do it!

Develop an appreciation for the present moment. Seize every second of your life and savor it. Value your present moments. Using them up in any self-defeating ways means you've lost them forever.” ~ Wayne Dyer

A Small Rock Slide on the Rocky Road, but Clearing it Out

When it come to writing this past week, it has been like a silent shroud.  The following stanza from one of my poems in my book, Pulse Points of a Woman's World, sums up how my writing progressed this week.

Silence surrounds the muse

    like the murky veil

    on a smoke-stained rose

   that enfolds a city’s dawn

   as the elegant words

   of pomp and circumstance

   are as voiceless

   as the cry of a city’s neon lights.

Unfortunately, I have been under the weather with a low potassium and breathing problem.  The doctor has prescribed that I take potassium, eat tomatoes, potatoes and avocados.  I know bananas are also very good, but they make me nauseous.  The other prescription was my favorite.  She gave it to my husband to fill, and it was frequent trips to the beach.  It seems that salt air really helps my breathing.  So, he is planning to do that this next week, and my eldest son will stay at our house while we are gone to take care of Squiggles and the house. 

Mary Forbes posted a really nice interview on her blog this week.  She has even offered to do a review on the book.  How nice!  If you want to read what she posted the link is: http://marymforbes.wordpress.com/writing/author-interviews/sylvia-l-ramsey/ .

I have another interview coming up with A.F. Stewart.  I will let you know when it is online.   I have been invited to be a guest on Julia Widdop's television show, Seekers Journey, on the 17th. of April.  That is going to be a busy week.  In addition, that same week I have two presentations. 

I think I need to take that trip to the beach so I can keep up the pace with what is going on in my life right now.  I will try to take some pictures and share my experience with you when I return home.  Who knows, I may even take my laptop to the beach and work some on my next book.  For right now, I am signing out, stay tuned for more. 

Don't forget to check out my book, Traveling a Rocky Road with Love, Faith and Guts,  on Amazon.  Any feedback is always appreciated.

Book Launch for Traveling a Rocky Road with Love, Faith and Guts Yesterday Update!

The book launch party was quite an experience.  I had no idea what to expect since I had never done this before.  I sent out a lot of invitations, advertised it, had goodies, and even had a give-away.  I was really appreciative of the people who attended.  I had hoped there would be more of my colleagues attend, but I know this is a busy time for them.  They often show their support in many other ways.  So, if you didn't make it, you know my book, Traveling a Rocky Road with Love, Faith and Guts is listed on Amazon, and if you want it signed...just let me know.  I wish there were more pictures but it was busy once people began to arrive. 

Talking to attendees and signing books

I think the people who attended enjoyed it, and they got to meet new people as there was time allowed to mingle and get to know each other.  They were interested in my presentation on bladder cancer, and wanted to know more about it.  Many of them volunteered to help get the word out to others by making them aware of the American Bladder Cancer and their website. 



Welcoming guest as they arrive.

Today there was an interview posted on Kris Wampler's blog, at:  http://kriswampler.wordpress.com/2012/03/25/sylvia-ramsey/
Kris Wampler, is the author of Love Train, http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005X3G3PK

A few goodies for the guests.

I had a phone call from a lady who wants me to do a presentation on bladder cancer from the viewpoint of a survivor for a conference via teleconference since I can't be there in person.  We are working out the logistics. 

I will keep you updated as news occurs.

A Flashback on the Rocky Road of Child Abuse

One thing I discuss in the book was why and how my mother was

 abused as a child. I am surprised that she survived it all. She 
suffered everything from beatings to a stepmother who tried to poison her. She was removed from the home at the age of twelve to be reared by a couple who had never had children. In the book, I talk about the way she was abused. It is abhorring what the stepmother did to her. She was treated less that a dog.

My father met her for the first time when she was twelve-years-old. She had run away, and he found her sitting on a log in the middle of the woods crying. Little did he know that this would be his future wife.  

My father tried his best to make up for all the years she had suffered abuse, but no matter how much he tried and no matter how much he loved her, it was not enough. He showered her with gifts. In 1929, he bought her a fur coat. She never had to ask to go shopping for clothes or the get her hair done because he was always there to say, don’t you think you need a new outfit nor wouldn’t you like to go to the beauty shop. Even with all the attention he lavished on her, she was never satisfied with what she had. Finally, he stopped giving her gifts because she did not appreciate them.  

By telling her story, it helps me, and the reader to understand why she abused me verbally and physically. I wish that things had been different because I never felt loved by her, or good enough to measure up to what she wanted me to be. Even in the end of her life, she only could think of one thing, and that one thing was to be with my father. It would just be him and her once again, and I would be out of the picture. However, learning to cope with these things gave me strength to cope with other things in life such as a rocky marriage.

There is more of this time in my life in the book.